Hours away from a real life flash back
I am writing this while sitting in the plane.
Going back to a place I’ve lived in for a while is always special to me. For me it is like crying and smiling at the same time. The moment I step in the vehicle, memories are crossing my mind like crazy. Memories of me being there: living my life abroad in that specific and wonderful place, me in another world….
Memories come to life all at sudden. Memories about the work I did there, the things I realized. I feel proud, thinking back to the years I lived there. A life a hardly could remember a day ago, just because I was busy living my life in the NOW. However now I will have a flash back, a flash back to the place I loved to live in. Upfront I prepared my visit, I was thinking about what places I wanted to see, what people to visit, the stores I wanted to go to, the food I wanted to eat, the roads I wanted to ride on so I could enjoy the scenery of the place I lived in. Smiles are crossing my face while I am constantly having flash backs, I am re-living my life over there. I am thinking about the victories I celebrated, the friends I’d made, the hard moments in life, the visits of family and friends. Smiles are also present if I think about the moment I will see those friends again.
What a special moment that will be…..
I also have tears at the same time because I know -I’ve experienced it more than once- that it will be strange to be a visitor, a passenger. It will be strange to be in a place that will feel so familiar to me. I know more things about life out there then just visitors, but it will not be the same. Life will be different because I don’t have my car and I don’t have a house. I will be a guest, and life will not be the same. I don’t have an office to work in or a closet to choose clothes to wear. I also know things will be different from what I was used to. And the knowing that it will never be the same as before brings tears to my eyes and I feel a strange kind of pain. Pain, which isn’t pain like giving birth or pain like having a severe headache. The pain I feel is just missing things, a feeling of emptiness. A feeling of missing a puzzle piece while making a beautiful creation.
So, to me going back to a place I’ve lived in is causing two different emotions. Two complete strangers to each other. And I have to deal with it. I know I can but I slightly fear the moment I step into the life I lived in which I don’t live any longer.
I am thrilled to have the opportunity to go back, to make this trip and make new memories in a world that is/was so familiar to me. I am thrilled to see the friends back there, to really have lunch with them instead of having a coffee with them on a distance, in the so-called SKYPE-CAFÉ. I feel so rich that we are able to do this as a family. Who do I say thank you to? I assume it’s my hubby and me. We made it happen.
I’ve still some hours, but we’re close, so close…. YEAH!!!
For this trip I needed my Passport, of course. Did you download your FREE DESIGN YOUR OWN FUTURE Passport? You can do that here.
Or if you want talk to me first, do it now! Ask for a Strategy Session here.
Save travels for you!